“Wouldn’t it be easier if we could just date women?”

I was having dinner with my girlfriends on Sunday night at Tree, a cozy French bistro with a gorgeous outdoor garden, and the discourse eventually turned to men, dating, and after a couple of glasses of wine…sex.

Women are always talking about dating…and sex. Hello, what do you think cave women were doing when they did all that gathering?

Men talk about dating too. Women like to talk about dating (and sex) over steak and wine whereas my guy friends mull over ex girlfriends, current girlfriends, girls they’d like to sleep with, or girls they can’t seem to sleep with… at 5 A.M. over a slice of Rosario’s pizza. Oh, but they’re always happy to document the details of a girl’s thong over instant messaging like they’re a designer for La Perla or something.

Warmed by the garlicy fragrance of escargot and many glasses of Cab, my girlfriends and I chatted and gossipped about our latest conquests and relationship woes. One friend didn’t understand why her boyfriend of six years still didn’t pop the question. Another told us about a breakup that happened via text. I talked about how a guy I recently went out with gave me the “lets just be friends talk” in the middle of my Indian food being delivered. Talk about a graceful way to get out of a rejection conversation. “I’m sorry. I have to go. My Indian food just got here.”

At the table were 4 attractive, smart, ambitious women. Women with Ivy League and Seven Sister backgrounds. Women who know the difference between Jimmy Choo and Hugo Chavez. Who can drink 5 martinis in a sitting and still walk home in their stilletos. Okay, obviously we’re not talking about me here. I’m usually stumbling home in stilletos. Although lately I’ve taken to just taking them off and walking barefoot. So classy!

Maybe the problem is that we’ve adopted the dating styles of men but we still covet relationships like women. (Damn that DNA!) Over dinner we talked about cheating. I think all my girlfriends have cheated at one point in their dating life. Women cheat like men and sometimes even better. Meaning? We know how to cover our tracks. I have two words for you: baby wipes. That’s all I’m saying.

I know single girls who have one night stands and then plot ways to get rid of the guy the next morning. Not all of us want to hangout the next day! Or girls who have two dates in the same night. I once had the misfortune of scheduling two dates on opposite sides of town. I felt like I could hear Looney Tunes music as I made my way from the Upper East Side to Chelsea.

Despite all this, I think some of us (and by some I totally mean ME!) still want one constant, reliable person to watch tv with on a Saturday night. My girlfriend was telling me that if she were ever to break up with her boyfriend the one thing she’d miss the most is watching tv with him on the couch. “He’s a good tv partner!” she said. It may seem trivial or banal but it’s true. There’s something so comforting and safe about cuddling on the couch. And as much I love my girlfriends I don’t really want to spoon them and watch SNL together.

Alas, it is so hard to find a good couch partner in this town dontchaknow.

Which leads us to that initial question. So why don’t we just date girls?

In my screenwriting class yesterday, I was talking to my teacher about my script (it’s a romantic comedy, of course!) and how I was having trouble creating conflict without an antagonist.

He said, “In a romantic comedy, the two leads are each other’s antagonists. They have to oppose and also attract each other.”

Hmmmm. There’s a meaning in there somewhere.

I’ll let you know if I gain any insight. Over more steak frites and Cabernet of course.