1. So last night I am out with Michael and his friends at Spitzers (be tee dubs I am OBSESSED with their BLT&E sandwich. I want to carry its picture in my wallet and call it every night) and I get a text. It is from the bearded guy. He has sent me about three texts in the past week and I have not responded. I feel like at this point it is just better to ignore than respond. I mean, how do you break up with someone when you were never dating in the first place?

His text says: Hey are you mad at me you don’t answer my text

I am with a bunch of dudes and they all think that I should just politely tell him I’m not interested because it’s the nice thing to do and it will impede him from texting again. I don’t know about you, people with feelings, but if someone sent me a text expressing they were not interested in me I think I would cry and then eat the entire contents of my fridge.

So I text my girlfriends and ask what they would do to show how differently girls and guys respond.

Ursy says: Tell him you are supermad at him or tell him you moved.

(I like this one)

Vidya says: No u should not respond. unless you want that kind of attention which I assume u don’t.

(For the record, I do not appreciate slightly creepy verbiage via text. Although I would have nothing to blog about if i didn’t receive them.)

Sarah says: If you must, say: I am not angry or upset, this is just not going to work.

(Sarah sounds like a dude)

2. Mean Girls was on the other day and it’s just one of those movies that gets funnier with each viewing. My new favorite line is: I don’t hate you because you’re fat. You’re fat because I hate you.

I am soooo gonna say that to my friends.

3. I texted the bartender last night and he never wrote me back. I am tempted to text: Are you mad at me? You don’t answer my text.

4. See, guys do this shit to girls all the time. And as long as women refer to men to make their moral decisions, the world will continue to be populated by assholes and liars.

5.So that was the first time I ever texted the bartender to hangout. And I think it will also be my last. Whatevs, at least my texts make sense. The bartender’s texts are like the Da Vinci Code and I need Tom Hanks to explicate them.

6.I can see the search words people use on this blog and I guess guys I formerly dated are reading it because they are typing their name in the search box. Are you really that vain to think that I would blog about you and use your real name? Because everyone knows I use really creative nicknames. Like the bearded guy!

7. I have stomach cellulite. I know, I know, HOT. So I googled how to get rid of it because I thought you could only get cellulite on your legs but apparently you can also get it on your stomach and arms. Ugh.

So these are some of the causes:

Cellulite on the stomach, especially in the lower portion, are thought to be linked to digestive disorders. Indeed, many women with stomach cellulite have irritable bowel, constipation, or liver disorders.

True. True. Double True.