Fri 8 Feb 2008
do i have a drinking problem or do i just act like every other twenty-something new yorker who uses alcohol to fill the hole in their soul?
Posted by thejinius under eating and drinking, life in new york
New Yorkers are always joking that they have a drinking problem. This is because we all have drinking problems.
I mean, why bother shelling out 25 bucks for a museum or 50 bucks for a play when you can buy 2-for-1 martinis at your local bar? Not only is it more economical but you even benefit from alcohol’s palliative properties to numb the stresses of urban life. Score!
So, yeah, New Yorkers drink excessively. And it’s easy to dismiss this behavior by saying “Well, it’s not like I wake up and have to drink a handle of vodka to make it through the day.” We just drink the equivalent of a handle of vodka throughout the week.
I guess I was never really concerned about my drinking behavior until I noticed this year that I was sending alot more emails and texts that started with “I’m sorry if I was so drunk last night…”
And then the other day my friend leaves me a message saying, “Hey, I just wanted to see what happened with you last night? You were acting very un-Jiniusesque.”
Ummm what does that even mean? Was I doing calculus at the bar or something? Now that would be out of character for me.
But I have to admit I was embarrassed. It’s hard to feel proud about yourself when your friends are telling you that you were acting strange. I mean, it is one thing to get drunk and start dancing on the tables (behavior I fully endorse) but to get so drunk that you’re speaking in non sequiturs? That’s just weird.
So I emailed with my friend Fab. I figured she could offer some insight as someone who’s known me since college and knows my drinking behavior. And now she lives in LA and can offer an outsider’s perspective on the whole New York drinking scene.
Here’s what she had to say. Please feel free to leave stories and suggestions in the comment box. You can even leave an anonymous comment.
Ok well kudos to you for taking the time to recognize this. By the
way, do people still make kudos bars? I remember this kid in
elementary school would always eat kudos bars @ lunch. Hmm… Ok wait,
back to you, good for you Ji!I guess I always thought of you as a party girl. Not the raging drunk
one but the kind that everyone wants at the party. Like, ooh that girl
is so much fun, we have to invite her. That
being said you are entertaining and a driving force behind a lot of
people’s excitement, but every now and then even party girls get the
blues. You can’t be “on” all the time!! Sorry if you
guys want to grind tonight you’ll have to find your way to the
dancefloor without Ji!!I can see how a drinking problem can get out of hand in NYC. That’s
what you do on the weekends. It’s your social life. In fact it’s so
normal, that maybe it stops being social? If you want to go to a nice
hotel lounge, or a a nice bar or restaurant, alcohol is involved. Like
you go out at night, get shit faced and have brunch. That’s been the
routince since Barnard. The only difference now is that you have more
disposable income to get drunk with. I think the only reason why I
don’t drink like that is because (1) there are not that many hip and
cool places to go to between boston & philly (2) I don’t like spending
my money on alcohol b/c I haven’t earned a paycheck in ages & i don’t
know how to get free drinks to save my life. So if I were in NYC, I
probably would have fallen into the same pattern as you.That being said, let’s shake up the pattern a little. I don’t think
you’re an alcoholic but you’re tolerance level is definitely up there.
Maybe if you hurled vomit and spewed diarrhea for hours like me, you
wouldn’t imbibe as much. Maybe if you’re drinking to the point that
you don’t remember how you got home, it might be time for a detox so
that you can reset yourself so 3 or 4 drinks will get you buzzed and
you won’t have to get to the point where you don’t remember things. I
think your problem is that you’re too functional when you’re drunk.
You have way too much fun & not miserable enough. You’re the kind of
person that will throw up and start laughing afterwards and grab a
kabob. I’m the kind of person that gets drunk and can’t get a facial @
Mario Badescu the next morning without fainting, throwing up and
craping all over the place & people thinking I’m pregnant.So yes, let’s tone it down for a little bit. You’re such a healthy
person on so many levels. You work out a lot, you eat salmon, give
your liver a break. Or maybe you should institute a rule for now that
you only drink lighter alcohol? Maybe that would make you “blackout”
less? Maybe you shuold have a no hard liquor rule, just beer & wine.
What are you drinking those nights that you feel like that? Do you
feel like that after drinking glasses and glasses of bubbly? If not,
then drink bubbly and proceed on your merry way. I think your body
just needs a detox. Do some yoga, have a colonic, sweat this out. Your
body is telling you something and you should obey it, give it what it
wants.As GI joe said, knowing is half the battle! At least now you know what
you have to work on. Don’t ignore it, there is a reason why you
noticed it![]()

February 8th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
I REMEMBER KUDOS BARS. i had a teacher that gave them out everytime we did something great. a literal kudos.
chicagoans have a drinking problem too. according to some survey taken last year, chicagoans actually had the HEAVIEST bring drinking. i like to think i helped very much with that.
i think it has something to do with getting older. and sometimes - just being so fed up with the daily grind - that drinking seems like a “mini vacation” from reality. which is so unhealthy in some respects, but who of us can afford weekend getaways to the bahamas to clear our heads? not me. hence, the 2 for 1 martinis. and this winter weather. blah.
i’m not sure what the solution is. i was just thinking about this the other day as well. i know i’m not an alcoholic, per se, but i probably depend on it too much after a certain rough day.
i’ll think about this some more and report back =)
February 8th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
lol kudos. whatever happened to them??
and i didnt know chicago had the most binge drinking. hmmm maybs this binge drinking phenomena is endemic to cold cities?!
February 8th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
i know the feeling. even though i feel like my drinking has declined in frequency (mind you, i was working in a bar for a year before i moved here and dove headfirst into copywriting), i feel like i invariably drink more when alcohol actually passes my lips.
i think living in ny tricks us into thinking that there’s always an “occasion,” be it the need to unwind after a particularly heinous week, a friend’s birthday, a break-up, a massive smooch session, or just an unseasonably warm sunday afternoon that dictates more bloody marys than one would normally consume. perhaps a worthy pursuit would be to find the narrow line between occasions and celebrations to dictate when it’s time to really let loose.
i think that mixing alcohol also tricks your body into thinking you’ve had less somehow. as if two beers are lighter than one vodka soda, so they kinda cancel out if you’re dancing and eating etc etc.
i think fab definitely has the right idea. try a “no hard liquor” rule (even though red wine seems to make me impossibly throbby if not with dinner lately). and sweating it out helps.
on that note… i started taking hip hop at broadway dance… and you should come with me.
February 8th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
I think any behavior, multiplied over time, can become a problem. With alcohol, it isn’t just physical tolerance, but mental tolerance as well that seems to creep quietly to dangerous levels. Really, what began as a fun diversion form real life, usually in college, BECOMES real life. It’s just what’s done, full stop.
But it never occurs to us to reject the premise. We go out drinking every weekend. We spend a bunch of money, we destroy our bodies, we age ourselves, we endanger ourselves, and we always end up afterwards feeling sluggish at best and horrendous at worst.
It’s easy to see why bored housewives in the 50’s became alcoholics. Alcohol definitely cures boredom, but at what price? Are we admitting freely that we can’t find one other fun thing to do besides suck down martinis?
Anytime we have a hole to fill, it seems to me that it takes the shape of whatever we use to fill it. If you have a martini-shaped hole in your Jinius self, then simply trying to subtract martinis from your life ain’t gonna cut it. You have to figure out why the hole’s there in the first place, yeah?
February 10th, 2008 at 11:00 am
All I’ve got to say is this has got to be one of the best lines I’ve ever heard in my life:
“You’re the kind of person that will throw up and start laughing afterwards and grab a kabob.”
Cracked me up. That friend of yours is hilarious. I think it’s the ‘grab a kabob’ part. I wish somebody would describe me that way. Unfortunately, when I throw up, you can go ahead and turn out the lights and leave me right where I am. There will be no more grabbing of kabobs. The party is over.
February 10th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
The worst thing about drinking this much on a regular basis is you get the ‘puffy’ or ‘bloated’ look. Oh yes, there is such a look.
February 11th, 2008 at 10:42 am
i’m not surprised to hear that binge-drinking statistic about chicago. i never realized how much i like to imbibe until i started dating someone who doesn’t like to drink.