My friend Dan* is the kind of guy that you would never expect to be a player. He wears glasses and sensible shoes. He listens to bossa nova and plays the sax. He speaks in a monotone voice and never yells– even when he’s angry. He can spend hours tending to a pot of curried potatoes and beef.  And he bears a slight resemblance to Tiger Woods.

But as we all know by now, the worst kind of player is the kind that does not look like a player at all. The one that looks like someone you could take home to meet mother but is actually more likely to send you on frequent visits to your therapist.

The nice guy.

Dan is the kind of nice guy that will hook up with different girls and not bother to call them the next day. Being a nice guy, he always feels bad about his lothario ways but he still can’t help it. I should know. I dated the guy after college and spent countless hours trying to figure out why he didn’t want to settle down with me. And now we’re like best friends. Go figure.

He is the type of guy that will meet a girl at a bar, get her number, then write a note next to it in order to remember her. For example, he has Mandy (nips) and Serena (bender). I have no idea what those clues mean. He has no idea either.

But after a year of being a grad student in New York, Dan is tired of the late night benders and chases. He wants a nice girl.

Over pizza and happy hour drinks at Hi-Fi, Dan waxed on about the exhausting dating scene in New York. I couldn’t believe this. Mr. Player was tired of the scene. Literally. He would rather go home and sleep.

He said the only kinds of girls he meets are the crazy ones. Like the girl who told him she loved him after only dating a couple of times. And then got engaged a couple of months later to her boyfriend. Oh yeah apparently she had a boyfriend the whole time. And then there was the girl who told Dan that if he wanted to hook up with her then he had to kiss her teddy bear.

You can see why he’s ready to settle down with a nice girl.

So, ladies, if you have been spending hours trying to harness a player into a relationship then you may have to wait until he hits his late twenties and gets bored of skirt chasing crazy women.

*Name has been changed to protect the guilty.