my mother was never the type to harass me about lassoing a husband but lately all she asks me over the phone is whether or not i’m seeing someone. all this time i thought i had managed to avoid the call of the marriage siren but she managed to sneak up on me like the smoke monster from LOST.

i should’ve known that marriage was on the brain when i was in miami last december and we spent the day at this cute little bay by our house and she wistfully said, “this would be a great place for a wedding.”

um, yeah, i’ll have a wedding there. in two thousand and fucking never.

so now that the whole marriage pressure is being externally induced by my mother, i should probably go on eharmony.com and marry the first christian dude that proposes. ha psych! bitch, please, do you know me at all? yeah, sure, marriage and companionship would be nice but i’m not trying to just settle down with some asian dude with an mba. altho that would make my mother do a scissor kick across the miami skyline.

it’s just so funny that my mother is encouraging me to get married because she used to lament the fact that she got married too soon. “date lots of different men” she used to say. i guess she thinks i’ve dated enough men because now she’s all up in my grill.

as much as i understand my mother’s concerns, i’m a firm believer that you should only get anchored into a committed relationship when you are first satisfied with being alone. if you can’t make yourself happy then you will only become needy and frustrated when your partner can’t make you happy. i’ve been really into the word “partner” lately. i kinda like the idea that your significant other is more of a partner in crime. or i guess the word partner also implies same sex marriage. whatevs.

in other news, i was running along the east river and was amazed at how many hot guys were running at the track. but it’s hard to hit on someone when they’re literally running away from you.

also, i’m amazed every time i see those huge ships floating on the river. how the hell do those monsters stay above water? i think archimedes first explained this all with his theory of density and displacement thousands of years ago but i dont remember. science is cool yo.