I guess it’s the sociology major in me but one of the things I love about Mad Men is the study of gender roles in the work place.

In a Los Angeles Times article, Matt Weiner, the series creator, talks about researching the social issues of that era and and even reading Helen Gurley Brown and Betty Friedan for guidance.

As someone who’s trying to come into her own in the work place and even in her own skin, the character I identify with the most is Peggy. She’s the dowdy girl from Brooklyn who started off as Don Draper’s secretary but was promoted to copy writer when he saw her potential. She is ambitious but not cut throat. She’s smart but still trying to figure out how to display her strengths in an office full of men. She has awkward looking bangs and doesn’t dress as provocatively as the other office girls but she hooks up with one of the ad men and gets knocked up (comparisons end there!)

She embodies the tension between girl and woman, secure and insecure, traditional and contemporary. In other words, the modern woman.

Even though Mad Men captures the gender disparity of the 1960s, it really has a current voice. My office is alot like working in 1963. And like Peggy, I have to prove myself to the men I work with but also avoid being ostracized by the women at the office.

I think I have unconsciously or consciously taken my career cues from Peggy. In one episode, when she wants to be taken more seriously and included in the meetings, she is given the advice: “You want to be taken seriously? Then stop dressing like a little girl.”

So I started wearing suits to work everyday. It may seem like a trivial change but it really affects the way you carry yourself and interact with others. It really is a modern version of armor. When you wear a suit, you are telling the office that you can play with the big boys. This was also around this time that I asked to participate in more meetings and I also made the decision to apply to grad school.

In the most recent episode, she goes up to Roger Sterling, the firm’s partner, and asks for her own office. When he gives it to her, her male colleagues are pissed off that they didn’t have the balls to ask first.

So today, inspired by Peggy’s confidence and victory, I decided that I would ask my boss for the vacant room on our floor. I rehearsed what I was going say all day and the reasons I need and deserve my own office. So I went into his office after lunch. First I asked if I could attend a discussion with a Senator this week. He agreed and said I could attend on his behalf. And then I asked if I could have the empty room on our floor. He said that he actually brought it up to one of the officers but they haven’t decided if they will give me the office because a senior officer may be arriving in New York soon and he will need it. He must have detected the look of disappointment in my face because he said, “Don’t be discouraged by this.” I smiled and said I wasn’t.

Of course, I was.

I went into the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. See, women without offices are relegated to using the bathroom for privacy.

I know it’s just an office. Just a room. But like Virgina Woolf said, a woman needs a room of her own. Not just for pragmatic purposes but symbolic ones. Having a room of your own defines your territory to others. It represents your credibility. It gives you the privacy to think and work on your own. It is the ultimate symbol of independence. And now, more than ever, I want and deserve that corner office. Okay, more like the office next to the office next to that corner office.

While it’s a tad embarrassing drawing parallels between one’s personal life and a tv show, I also found another eerie similarity with last night’s episode. Don Draper, the main character, has a tarot card reading that is about rebirth and finding one’s identity. Maybe it’s just coincidence, but I had my very first tarot card reading last week.

The card reader shuffled my cards and laid them out. He indicated that my central card was the high priestess, a very strong and powerful card. He said that I’m very self aware (thanks, blog!) and very grounded, but i project an image of giddiness to others. He advised me that it’s really important that this year i acknowledge my own power and take myself seriously. He said that this is the year i will become a woman. I know this sounds utterly cheesy but I teared up when he said this.

So I may have experienced defeat today but I will not feel defeated. I guess being a real woman means not being discouraged when you are knocked down.

Anyway, I end this with an inspiring quote from Eleanor Roosevelt. A woman who had real balls:

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

So maybe one day, hopefully not too far in the distance, I will have my own office like Peggy.

And just like Peggy, I will christen it by drinking a glass of whiskey.