I had drinks with a guy friend on Friday night and at around midnight his phone started flashing. He flips open his phone and shows me a text from this girl he hooked up with before.

UR hot…lets makeout.

I laugh. I think I know a thing or two about texting while drunk and horny. What is it about happy hour that augments your desire for gadgets and boys?

He texts back and asks the girl if she is drunk. Seconds later, she replies:

Maybe…hehe.

And then she called him. Ah, the drunk communication trifecta: two texts and a call.

Isn’t that cute? My guy friend asks.

It was cute. And of course it made me wish that I had someone to drunk dial ME!! And at that moment I felt kinda bad for being so snappy with the 25 year old. He’s 25. Of course he’s going to feel horny at midnight and send random texts. And then I feel worse for telling him he has texticular cancer. If only because it’s probably not all that nice to bring up CANCER in a digital discourse.

And then I remember all those times I was embarrassed at my drunk texts and in retrospect I really don’t think they were that bad.

What’s so wrong with telling someone that you think they’re attractive and exhorting them to make out with you? This very second? And insisting that they should leave their co-worker’s/best friend’s/dying sister’s farewell party and come meet me at the other side of town?

What, pray tell, is so wrong with that???