Duuuude, I made kimchee fried rice with shrimp for dinner. My mom would be so proud. All you have to do to make a Korean mom proud is cook Korean food, go to an Ivy league school, become or marry a doctor, and have babies. They are easy to please!

Now for those of you unfamiliar with kimchee, it is THE staple of Korean cuisine. It’s fermented cabbage that is served as a side dish at every meal and used as an ingredient in many dishes. Kimchee is so revered by the Korean people that a wife’s worth was based on her ability to make kimchee. Kimchee is even said to have palliative properties and aid in digestion. It is also fully responsible for giving people bad kimchee breath which is probably worse than it’s close relatives, cigarette breath and coffee breath.

Some Americans are scared of kimchee because it’s spicy and, well, smells kinda funny. A guy I once dated wouldn’t even try it. That’s when I knew it would never work out. Not liking kimchee is not only a relationship deal breaker but it is committing a moral sin. It’s right up there with priests and pederasty. But I can understand people’s xenophobia of kimchee. It doesn’t help that it’s described as FERMENTED cabbage. When I think of fermented I don’t think delicious, heavenly food. When I think of fermented, I think of yeast, and when I think yeast, I think of crotch.

Kimchee tastes like a spicy, pickled, crunchy vegetable. It tastes like home. My favorite way to eat kimchee is with a bowl of salty, hot ramen because it just adds that extra oomph. Like steak and frites, pancakes and bacon, donuts and heart disease, kimchee and ramen just go together.

Kimchee fried rice is super easy to make. You just use whatever you have in the fridge and just put it in a frying pan. Many Koreans like to add pork and egg but I used shrimp instead to make it a little healthier.

Oh, and don’t tell anyone, but I didn’t have any sesame or vegetable oil left so I used olive oil. I know, Asian heresy! But it still tasted awesome!

So to make the kimchee fried rice you need

cup of green squash (thinly sliced, lengthwise)
2 cloves of garlic (chopped)
2 green onions, (sliced)
1 cup of kimchee
1 cup of rice
1 cup of shrimp
2 tea spoons of chili paste ( this is not necessary but it adds some more heat)

I used leftover brown rice from an old Chinese takeout order. It’s a little embarrassing how old it was. But apparently brown rice doesn’t really go bad! And harder rice is more preferable for fried rice since it won’t get mushy.

1. Put a dollop of oil on a frying pan over medium high heat. Saute the shrimp and garlic. Add a sprinkle of salt.
2. When the shrimp start to get a little pink, add the green squash and kimchee
3. The kimchee will start to look more translucent. Add the brown rice
4. Stir everything around
5. Add a dollop of the chili paste
5. Taste. If it’s not spicy enough, you can either add more kimchee or chili paste
6. Enjoy!



I recommend listening to some Li’l Kim while making this dish. Oh, and it is imperative that you brush your teeth and rinse your mouth immediately after eating it.