i love three days weekends but loathe the melancholy that creeps in at the end. it’s kinda like in elementary school when you greet the weekends with such glee only to be told on sunday night you can’t stay up to watch married with children.

i think it gets harder as you grow older because you’re also grappling with hangovers–emotional and physical. so in order to avoid coming down we just continue to party and drink.

and smooch.

i’ve been going out since thursday and now i am coming down hard. oh, and i also have my period. i am one big party bus of fun.

but a brief review of the weekend.

so do you ever wake up one morning, turn to your side, and find some random person sleeping there?

whoops!

yeah, i went out on thursday to my friend suzette’s going away party and ended up talking to one of her friends and bringing him home with me. nothing happened but i was still shocked to see a stranger in my bed. and on a school night! he was a floppy haired brooklyn boy who evidently watches LOST. i believe that’s how we started talking.

I want to write a book called The Nerdy Girl’s Guide to Dating: How to hook a live one with references to LOST

i also managed to find random business cards in my purse. Um, yeah, I’ll call you never.

on friday my friends and i go to the restaurant where my bartender works. we all sit at a table and i suppose to an outsider we probably look like we are on one big group date because the group consists of three girls and three guys. and the bartender is acting not that friendly and then it hits me that if i were in his situation and saw him hanging with other girls i’d be a little salty too. usually when im at the restaurant i’m hanging with gay boys and this night im with my friends colin and allstadt who aren’t exactly the most approachable people. colin is wrapped in tattoos and allstadt looks like he eats entire villages for breakfast.

at the end of our dinner the bartender even asks me, “so which one’s your boy?

okay, i know he is just joking but my comedy writing teacher once told me that all jokes are rooted in truth. and since i believe everything that semi-authority figures tell me, perhaps mr. dark and brooding is feeling a little jelly? whatever, you don’t own it till you claim it!

anyway, he ends up coming home with me and he leaves early the next morning to play sports with his boys. for the first time since we’ve started our little trysts, i am strangely sad. the only comparable feeling would be when you are coming down after a night of partying and drinking. i feel like i’m on a high when i am with him and when he leaves i feel like a junkie. and any practical person would just cut it off so that they avoid feeling the lows. but apparently i enjoy feeling like a character on trainspotting.

people ask if i like him or what do i even see in him and i have no clue. who can explain the laws of attraction? all i know is that the moment i spotted him behind the bar i knew i had to have him. maybe its pheromones or my recent fondness for facial hair and tattoos.

ugh.

i’ve been thinking about the ending of eternal sunshine and how clem and joel decide to give it another go even after they know all the horrible things they’ve said about each other. and i remember this old nytimes piece described the movie as an homage to memory itself. that even our painful memories have some use. that they serve as souvenirs of our old relationships or even lessons for our future ones.

so even though i know that this little crush on the bartender has all the warning signs that i am going down heartbreak cliff, i continue. sometimes it is more fun to go near the edge than to stay on the right path. but what the hell do i know? i don’t even drive.

ursy says i should break his heart before he breaks mine. “He’s young. He’ll bounce back.”

is it horrible that we both found that hysterically funny?

on sunday, i meet up with meredith at 7A. she gets there before me and tells the waitress she’s waiting for a friend. the waitress says, “I’ll seat you when your partner gets here.” Ummm, partner?? was meredith wearing a lilith fair shirt or something?

so i get there and we are seated outside. we notice that there is a woman standing on the corner, holding her black cat in a bag, and wearing cat rings. isn’t it both hilarious and tragic when you see someone who is your worst nightmare come to life?

after brunch we head to central park to hang with our friend henri and his friends. they are playing soccer and one bystander gets kicked in the balls with a soccer ball. i could tell he was in horrible pain so i started laughing. mer and i asked him what it feels like to get hit in the balls and he says, “you kinda feel like you want to puke and take a shit at the same time.”

im so glad im a girl.

afterwards we head over to williamsburg for a bbq and it is populated by boys who look like the designers of Heatherette. i notice one woman walk in wearing a shit load of makeup when i realize that it’s not a woman but a tranny.

this is your boyfriend.

anyhoo, the rest of the week has been pretty chill. i watched wimbledon the other day. the movie. with paul bettany and kisrten dunst. ugh, this is my life. also, the republican was in town and he asked if i wanted to meet up for coffee but i didn’t.

i think i need a detox from boys.

or not.