I was bored the other day (or what some people call “Saturday night”) so I decided to write up a list of qualities that I’m looking for in a man.

Okay, before you puke in your mouth, let me tell you that there is some value in making a list. I mean, we make lists for grocery shopping or errands. Or we type a list of things to pack for a vacation on an excel spread sheet and then print it out (doesn’t everyone do that?)

Why shouldn’t we make a list for someone who may potentially see you naked? And don’t give me that crap that you fall in love when you least expect it. What does that even mean? That I’ll meet someone when I’m waiting in line for the bathroom at 7B? That just seems…sad.

Besides, I feel like the times I have dating disasters are the times that I decide to be open minded. So I made this list to ensure that I will not veer off track and that I will stay narrow minded!

Drum roll please…

1. He must have dark hair.
I like guys with dark hair. think the corollary to this rule is that he should have a head full of hair.

2. He must keep up with current events.
Okay, I don’t expect him to watch Meet the Press every week but just some general knowledge of world affairs would be helpful. One time I went out with a guy who asked me “So is North Korea the bad guy or is it South Korea?” I suppose this is a legitimate question. For someone who lives without the internet.

3. He must have a good sex drive.
Studies have shown that people who have frequent sex are much more positive and happy. I guess that explains why I have trouble finding a reason to get out of bed every day…hahahaha…er….anyhoo.

4. He must be confident enough that he doesn’t always have to be the center of attention.
I mean, it’s kinda like when Jennifer Lopez left P.Diddy and went for her back up dancer Chris Judd. Sometimes you don’t want the hip hop mogul. Sometimes you want the back up dancer with no other viable skills. Sometimes you just want to be like Jennifer Lopez!

5. He must let you try some of his food on his plate
I get really annoyed when a guy doesn’t offer you some of his food. So what if I end up eating all of my food AND his food?! It’s called manners, people!

6.He must not be afraid to make important decisions
Do you know what is the most annoying conversation in the world?

Me: What do you want for dinner?
Boy: I don’t know. What do you want?
Me: Well, are you craving anything in particular?
Boy: I don’t care . Order whatever you want.
Me: What about Chinese?
Boy: Anything but Chinese.
Me: What about Italian?
Boy: We always have Italian.
Me; Then what do you feel like eating?
Boy: How about American?

WTF???

Why didn’t you just say that from the beginning instead of pretending that you didn’t care???

7. He must have a sense of humor or at least think I have a sense of humor
Not everyone gets your sense of humor (please see post on Thanksgiving dinner). So when you finally meet someone who laughs at your stupid jokes and also thinks that the title “You’ve Got She-Male” is hilarious then you have met a real gem. Or a loser.

8. He must not be afraid to dance
My roommate says that you can learn alot about a person by the way they dance. Hmmm, so does this mean I have an inherent desire to be a stripper?

But I think you can tell things like if he’s uptight or conservative by the way he dances. I’m not saying he should be able to do the foxtrot (hello, I’m looking for someone heterosexual) but just having fun is pretty important.

9. He must be tall
Well, I’m only 5′1 so that’s not saying much.

10. He should bring out the best version of yourself.
I’ve been thinking alot about this one. This applies to any of your relationships. The ones with your family or your friends. Your partner should inspire and encourage you to do better. If that means your partner will help you remember your address after a long night of drinking (please see birthday post) then that is cool too.

And I have about ten more.

So next time a friend of mine wants to set me up with someone I shall pull out my list! Tsk tsk. It says here on my list I only date dark haired men who like to read Huffington Post. Sorry.