I am too tired to expound on why these women are frightening but I just have to say that there is a blonde Asian woman in my apartment complex who I see on a pretty regular basis and everytime I see her I kinda scream inside. I’m like ‘oh my god what the hell was that?” Oh, it’s just my blonde Asian neighbor.

The only non-Caucasian person who can get away with blonde hair is Mary J. Blige–and that’s only because What’s the 411 is like the best R&B album ever and girlfriend can do whatever the hell she wants with her extensions.