-Yesterday I met up with Emi at the beer garden in Williamsburg. I have never seen so many toddlers running amok in my life. Is a bar really a safe place for a youngster? We all know how painful it can be when a wine bottle falls on an adult’s foot, (or just mine), imagine the pain it can bring to a two year old!!! Well, I suppose it is not so strange for toddlers to be at a bar. When they walk they kinda look like drunk people.

-So over La choufes and bratwurst, I learned about the the astrological phenomena known as Saturn Returns. I guess it takes 29 years for Saturn to complete its cycle in your birth chart. It’s supposed to be a major transition time that involves endings and new beginnings and commences your period of adulthood. This can explain why so many of my friends are applying to grad school, moving, changing jobs, and becoming republicans.

-My apps are due at the end of this week and I can finally stop agonizing over them. If I don’t get into grad school, I’m going to kill myself. Hahahahahaha…ha.

-I know, I know, no one likes suicide jokes on a Monday morning. They’re more of a Friday evening/happy hour thing.

-I stayed home on Saturday and rented the Sex and the City movie. I thought it was moving…my bowels.*

-I go to this hair stylist that I really like but I think she talks too much. So when she’s cutting my hair, I close my eyes and pretend I’m sleeping so I don’t have to engage in a conversation. She must think I’m either narcoleptic or just meditating.

-Did you know that women in their late twenties go through a second puberty? Yes, it coincides with the return of saturn! This explains why I developed hips over the past year. I have birthing hips! My body is literally telling me that I’m ready to produce children!

*like everything else i totally stole that from Tina Fey