You can learn a lot about a person by how they play the game Truth or Dare.*

I’m more of a spectator. I like to feign sleep so that I don’t have to engage in potentially embarrassing antics like giving a lap dance to a guy I have a crush on (no, I didn’t actually go through with it). My friends, on the other hand, play with the ferocity of Roman gladiators, scoffing at the weak contestants who think Truth or Dare is merely a children’s game.

The name Truth or Dare implies that a participant should choose one of the options depending on whether they feel like revealing their inner selves or their inner thighs.

Truth, being the more benign of the two choices, is favored among wusses and prudes (I always choose truth). But my friends, being the fierce team players that they are, like to play Truth AND Dare or mutations of the game like Dare OR Dare which is not to be confused with Dare AND Dare. Sometimes if they don’t like the dare they are given they will add their own interpretation and make it more audacious.

I don’t think I’ve ever had to perform a dare. Believe it or not, I’m much more prudish and shy than I let on. I can dance on a stripper pole at Uncle Ming’s but I can’t kiss a guy in front of my friends. I get stage fright!

But my roommate brought up a good point. We were watching the movie Little Children (about people with major sexual repression issues) and she said that’s why more people need to play Truth or Dare and get things out of their system instead of allowing them to manifest in perverse ways like, oh, I don’t know, fondling children. She was joking at the time but it makes total sense.

Maybe I needed to be more liberated. Unleash the naughty librarian within (actually I’m not a librarian, I just wear the glasses). Afterall, it’s summer and I should just relax and have fun and let loose! Right? Well….

So the other night at Nurse Bettie, we gather a group of us to do a round of blow jobs shots and I eagerly volunteer to demonstrate my, um, skills. I finish one shot with finesse (although Sabbie has to help me take the glass out of my mouth). Cocky from the success of my first bj shot (are you catching the puns here, people?!?!), I happily oblige in doing a second one. Except this time I am not so successful. The shot glass falls out of my mouth and crashes to the floor. Still determined to finish one, I do another shot but that glass meets the same fate, landing on the floor with a thunderous crash.

The bartender responds, “That’s why blowjobs belong in the bedroom.”

So, along with Truth or Dare, I can now add blow job shots to the list of things I should not do in public.

My apologies to the bartenders at Nurse Bettie. I owe you two shot glasses. Love ya like a sister!

*That childhood game so popular at elementary school parties is now making a coming back for the yupster set. Or at least among my group of friends.