i was flipping through the new issue of nylon mag and noticed they have this whole fashion spread on “geek chic”. Why didn’t they toss this term around when I was in elementary and middle school? I could have comforted myself with the fact that at least there was a little bit of chic to me.

I think it’s funny that it is now acceptable or even trendy for people to brag about their nerdiness. “Oh, yeah, I’m such a dork. I love playing video games.” Bitch, please. Unless you have ever eaten alone at a lunch table in middle school then you are not, and never will be, a nerd!!!!!

There’s also a blog post on jezebel.com about how being a loser in high school seems to damage guys more than girls i.e. guys grow up to be players with a major chip on their shoulder whereas girls kinda get over it because even nerdy girls get cat called by construction workers.

I had this conversation with a guy friend of mine and we were commiserating about how we were nerdy and unattractive in our formative years and how this has affected our dating mentality. He has now blossomed into a very attractive guy and well, I’m still wearing glasses. But he was telling me that even when he was a nerd he refused to date homely girls who were interested in him because getting with them would only confirm that he was at their level–that he was, indeed, a nerd. And he still thinks that way about dating.

I guess my feelings toward dating are a little more colored because in elementary school and middle school I was flat out nerdy and ugly and then I transferred to a performing arts high school and all of a sudden guys were flirting with me. I guess artists have more open minded perceptions of beauty.

I’ll never forget being in the sixth grade and someone asking the hottest guy in our class to rank the girls who he would date and i think i was like third to last. Yeah, that was a good day for me. And then flash forward to junior year of highschool and this guy sitting next to me in computer class tells me that he and his friends put me on their “shit list”. What the hell is a shit list? I asked. “Girls who are the shit.” So, yeah, that was a little redeeming. Especially since my friend Grace was on it and she was so hot she could turn gay dudes straight. She was also so hot that guys would befriend me just so they could get access to her. It’s okay, I still don’t have a complex about it or anything!!!!

But people who grew up as nerds and then metamorphasized into attractive people seem to have this duality of always feeling like a nerd inside but also being extremely picky about who they date. There will always be a part of me that feels like that girl who sat alone in the cafeteria, pretending to read greek mythology. (Why didn’t anyone tell me that joining the mythology club does not help you get guys OR friends?!?!) I am still surprised when guys express interest in me. But that doesn’t mean I won’t act like a total bitch to guys who try to kick it to me at bars.

At the end of the day, nerds just want someone to ask us to eat lunch with them. We want someone to say that they accept us. And we just want someone to say:

“Hey, I like you.”