Always Funny

1. Jokes about the old, the dumb, and the morbidly obese
2. 30 Rock
3. Billy Cohen
4. Men who wear Axe
5. Men in lycra
6. Diarrhea stories..especially those involving people you dated
7.People who sing Whitney Houston’s “I believe the children are the future”
8. Kids who eat too much glucose and have no necks
9. Unmarried women over the age of 40
10.People who fall on the street
11. People who cry in public
12. God…you have to admit, he does have a Jane Austenian sense of humor


Never Funny
1.Sitcoms on CBS
2. Getting hit on by creepy white guys
3. People who still say “I’m Rick James, bitch!”

Sometimes Funny
1. The TV show Friends…before Matthew Perry got fat
2. Fart jokes…they have to be told at the right time, like at dinner
3. The first ten ammendments of the Constitution
4. Rape…unless you’re imitating someone raping someone, then it’s hilarious
5. Racist jokes…unless you’re a minority, then it’s hilarious