There’s a piece in yesterday’s Times that exhorts women to order meat on a first date because it makes them more appealing to men by seeming “unpretentious” and “low maintenance”. And that girls who order salads appear fussy and bland.

I don’t know about you but I select my food based on what I am craving and not what will make me more attractive to my date. Actually, I’m lying. I ask myself these questions before finalizing my meal.

1. Does it have garlic in it? If so, then nix that. I’m not trying to have dragon breath on the first date. This eliminates some Italian food and the entire Korean food terrain.
2. Does the dish have alot of leafy products? I don’t need to look like I’m flossing with arugula.
3. Will I be able to wrap my mouth around it and still look classy? I don’t think I would order a burger on a first date because it’s messy and I don’t like grease dripping down my face. For that very reason I don’t think I would go to Momofuku ssam bar on a date.

Okay, so it turns out I am totally the type of person who cares how I appear on a first date. Did I also mention that I like to have two glasses of wine before I meet someone? I think I am much more fun after a couple of drinks.

Anyhoo, there have been some memorable and unmemorable first date dinners.

I think my most unmemorable meal was with this insipid banker with anger issues. I don’t even remember his name! I remember he was Egyptian and went to Columbia. He told me he missed his college graduation because he decided to go to a banking interview instead. That should have been a sign! I don’t even remember what I ate but we were at some restaurant near his office in Tribeca. Oh, and he yelled at the waiter for not chilling the white wine or something like that.

As for memorable first date dinners…that’s a hard one. I guess my most recent one was with this Chinese guy (my first Asian date! Aren’t you proud?). He took me to Elephant and he ordered the pork chops and I had the duck with noodles. At the beginning of dinner he said, “I love eating with girls because they always share.”

Um, not this girl! Poor thing, I think I surrendered a sliver of duck and a dainty noodle before devouring the entire plate.

I think a big first date meal mistake was ordering grilled octopus. I LOVE grilled octopus. Grilled seafood anything. But this octopus was rubbery and thick and choking me with every bite. I didn’t want to send it back and appear unappreciative so I ate most of it.

So what do you order on a first date? Are there items or cuisines you steer away from? I guess you wouldn’t order anything with beans. And Korean is out of the question. Unless people have failed to inform me that kimchee is an aphrodisiac.

And what do guys order on a first meal? Do we really care? According to the NY Times piece some women do. I think the last line is the most ridiculous statement I have ever read. Seriously, who is this woman? She says:

“When a guy sits down and eats something fatty and big, you wonder if they eat like that all the time,” said Brice Gaillard, a freelance design writer. “It crosses my mind they’ll probably die early.”