I think I still have shoulder chlamydia so I’m trying not to type so much. Instead of emailing and texting I just call people or avoid them. But today I will attempt to type because I already ate my lunch and have nothing else to do.

So I reconnected with this guy via Facebook the other day. He messages me and says, “We should go out for some scandalous drinks soon, like that time we first met.”

This email confirmed two of my biggest fears:

1. That people actually remember the stupid shit you do when you are drunk
2. That people remember the stupid shit you do and want you to re-enact them

A few years ago, my friends threw an Anti-Valentines Party where a bunch of single people got together and drank their sorrows away. This is not unlike any other holiday in New York. Like Christmas.

So I go to the party and there is a group of French guys. As some of you may know I used to pounce on Frenchmen like a Kodiak bear on a salmon. And after a couple of drinks I started flirting with one Frenchie and before you know it we were having smoochies in the bathroom.

Oh, but I forgot to mention that I was sorta seeing this guy at the time and he eventually came to the party. And I would sneak off to the bathroom to make out with the frenchie while my date was in the other room chatting with my friends.

The worst part is that I got really sick that night and my date drove me home (he had a car) and on the way to my apartment he stopped at a bodega and picked up some medicine for me and he gave me this cup of water. And this is how I respond:

“Ick! Eww! What the hell is this?”
“It’s Alka seltzer.”
“Gross!”

Then he actually had to escort me to my apartment because I couldn’t walk up three flights on my own. He tucked me into bed and then left. And he even called me the next day to see how I was doing and asked me out again.

See, this is why I have bad dating karma. But I don’t feel so bad. I’ll explain later in a future post. I already have a title: my love is like a red,red sore.