A good friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend and as I was trying to console her she asked me, “Do you think I’ll ever meet anyone as good as him?” I said, “Duh. Of course you will!” She asked, “Do you think he’ll meet someone better than me?” I said, “Duh. Of course he won’t!”

I think it’s interesting that what’s really behind those questions is the thought “Am I still good enough?” And if you know my friend then you will know that not only is she good enough but she surpasses the standard for what’s good. She’s gorgeous, brilliant, getting her masters at an ivy leagueg school, humble, every guy I know has had a school boy’s crush on her at some point, and she can break dance better than anyone I know and the most insane thing is that she is oblivious to her virtues–which is part of her charm. If she were aware of her own awesomeness then she’d be completely intimidating and frightening and I would have to shoot her.

But as I was trying to articulate how wonderful she is and that she’ll get over this break up, I realized that I was the worst person to offer guidance because I couldn’t even take my own advice to heart.

I mentioned in my last post that my guy friend was giving me some post break up words of encouragement and listing the reasons of why I’m a good catch and my initial reaction was, “Well, he has to say those things because he’s my friend.” But then I thought about the converse. Maybe he is my friend because I am those things.

It has taken a really long time to reach the point of saying this, and I’m actually gettting a little emotional just typing it out…but maybe, despite my infinite flaws, I am a good catch after all.

I may not be gorgeous or brilliant or know how to cook a steak without burning it or remember to clean my room all the time. And sometimes I say things without thinking and I can’t hold my liquor and have even gotten lost trying to find my apartment after a night of drinking. But I think that the people who take the time to see beyond that will find that maybe there is something there that’s worth sticking around for.

And it’s the biggest cliche ever but I’m starting to realize that you can’t love someone or let someone love you until you love yourself first.

Okay, feel free to puke a little in your mouth right now.

So I say this to my friend: You may not find someone just like your ex but you’ll meet someone different. Unexpected. It’s always the ones who catch you off guard that catch your heart. And he’ll be the one who sees what I see. And I hope you will see that too.

*Or you can just go with the tried and true remedy: The best way to get over someone is to get under someone new. I’m copywriting that.