It is so hot in New York right now that the city feels like it is wrapped in a hot, wet towel. It is so hot that I had three nervous breakdowns in the span of half an hour. It is so hot that you could get drunk off of one beer. It is so hot that when I said goodbye to Ursy on her last night in New York, I cried and had no tears left because I was so dehydrated. No, I still cried like a big baby. But more on that later.

Thursday

For Ursy’s last weekend in New York, we decided to eat at Supper Restaurant in the East Village for her last supper.


Supper is one of my favorite Italian restaurants in the city. It’s laid back, the food is good, and it’s inexpensive. My only complaint is that the hostess acts like the Mayor of Stankonia. I don’t understand the need for such attitude when ostensibly the hostess’s role is to greet and welcome the customers. The hostess sets the tone for the rest of the evening. And she started it on a bitter note. Hello, we are in a recession. If you want asses in your seats then you need to treat people like you actually want them in your restaurant.

Basically, she wouldn’t seat the two of us until Sabbie showed up. Okay, I get that some restaurants don’t like to seat you until your whole party arrives–especially if your restaurant is busy and there are other parties waiting. But we were just three people. It’s not like we were a party of twenty and only two of us had shown up. And the restaurant was not that busy. Plus, did I mention how freaking how it is in New York and that we were grilling on the sidewalk like fucking shawarma?!?!

So Sabbie shows up and we are finally seated. And the rest of the meal was lovely because it’s not really about the restaurant but the people you are with. And these are my favorite lizzadies. Oh, and it also helped that the waiter gave us a bowl of icecream on the house. Fabulosity!

Friday
So the bearded guy has been texting me but I haven’t responded because I’m just not that interested. I figure the best way to nip it in the bud is just to ignore him and figure he’ll get the picture.

So one of his texts says: “How’s your week” which always struck me as an odd thing to ask. I mean, do you really want me to write a missive on my week? Well, on Monday I watched Jon and Kate Plus Eight on TLC…

Then on Friday evening he texts “Yo what up”. Again, I don’t respond because I’m with my friends and we are taking advantage of happy hour.



Saturday

I wake up and notice I have a new text and some missed calls. All from the bearded guy. His text says “I don’t understand why you don’t answer my text.”

I almost responded: “Hey, Captain Obvious, it’s because I’m not that into you.” But I didn’t respond because I’m not that mean. Okay, I am.

But am I wrong to take the ignore’m route? I mean, I hungout with the guy a total of three times (including the first time we met) and our interactions have been nothing but casual. It’s not like he ever took me out on a formal date. We would just meet up for late night drinks. And guys do this shit to girls all the time!! We have enough inequities between men and women and women should not always have to take the higher road when it comes to dating. We should be allowed to take the easy way out!

Anyway, later that night we all go to Loreley for Ursy’s going away drinks. Her boyfriend Ari is there. He is the man kidnapping her to Cleveland. I suppose it’s not really kidnapping when you know the person and are in love with them but it is still kidnapping in my eyes!



Afterwards, we do a bar crawl of the Lower East Side. We head to Thor and Verlaine. I try to convince them to go to Welcome to the Johnsons but apparently people don’t like going to bars that smell like the inside of a shoe that has been drenched in old beer.

Then Sarah and I end up at Schillers for their awesome jalapeno margaritas. Sarah is talking to some weird foreign dudes and I end up hitting on the hot bartender. Actually, I was pretty drunk at that point so my idea of flirting was just smiling like a creepy person.

Sunday

I wake up and I am still in my outfit from Saturday night. Genius.

I get ready to meet up with Meredith and her mom for brunch. Her mom is in town and they kindly invited me to brunch at Bubbys in Dumbo.

I head outside and walk to the subway and I am immediately assaulted by the heat. I feel like there is a hot, sweaty 300 pound man on top of me. I go to the F train station and wait on the platform for literally twenty minutes. Have you ever waited on a New York City subway platform in the summer time? It is like being in a casserole dish. I did not understand how the other passengers could look so placid. Inside I was ready to implode. At one point I wondered if it would be inappropriate for a 28 year old women to just start crying in public.

The train finally arrives but it stops at Delancey because it is no longer running on the F line. So I have to get out of the train and wait on the platform AGAIN. An MTA official announces that there is a delay in the trains and asks us to please be patient.

Okay…

I am hot. I am hungover. I am dehydrated. I am hungry. And I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE F TRAIN FOR NEARLY THIRTY MINUTES NOW AND I REFUSE TO BE PATIENT. I WILL NOT BE PATIENT. I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. I CANT LIVE LIFE. I WANT TO SERIOUSLY MAIM SOMEONE. I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT!!!!!!!

So I leave the station and try to hail a cab outside.Only for some reason there are no cabs on Delancey. I finally get into a cab and tell the driver to take me to Dumbo. He asks, “Where is that?”

This is going to be one of those days.

I try to calm myself down and muffle the primal scream that is just ready to gush out of me. At this point I’m already like half an hour late so I tell Meredith that I won’t be able to make it to Dumbo. For some reason, god just doesn’t have that in the cards for me that day.

I am near Prom Date’s apartment so I give him a call and ask if he wants to do brunch.

“I am fucking starving,” he says.

Perfection.

It turns out Sarah is free too so we all meet at Inoteca.

Now, when Prom Date and I go out for food we end up eating like pigs to a trough. The man eats like a pregnant woman and our meals turn into our version of a tasting menu–we basically just end up tasting everything that is on the menu.

The hostess at Inoteca is such a doll and sits us immediately because she must have noticed that we are so hungry we are ready to gnaw our arms.

We feast on grilled calamari, meatballs, octopus, truffled egg toast, and panini. I feel calm. Zen like. I almost forget that I had a nervous breakdown earlier that day.

I come back home and plant myself on the couch. I get a text from Vidya asking what I am up to but i don’t respond right away because I am doing important things like watching Gossip Girl. Later I get a text from her that says, “I don’t understand why you don’t answer my text.” I literally laugh outloud.

Oh, and I get ANOTHER text from the bearded guy. It just says, “Hello.”

Seriously? Seriously.

I meet up with Ursy and Ari for one last dinner before she leaves.

I can’t even write this part without tearing up. But as you longtime readers know, Ursy is one of my bestest friends. She is the real deal Holyfield. We’ve known eachother since high school but we didn’t become close friends until she moved to New York. This just goes to show that sometimes the important people in your life have always been there all along but for whatever reason they become an integral part of your life at a later time.

She is simply one of the most positive people I have ever met. And also one of the stankest. Ursy is the type of person that doesn’t talk about people behind their back. She talks about them in front of their face. She is hilarious. The original Mayor of Stankonia. And she will be missed.

For our final meal we go to Otafuku for octopus balls. Yup, we have balls for our last meal. Because that’s the kind of friendship we have.



I don’t know why saying goodbye was so sad. I guess it’s because no matter how hard you try to cling to permanence, things will always change. Life is not impervious to change or time. So you have to say alot of good byes.

But I know that we will always remain close. Life also has a funny way of keeping you in touch with the ones who matter. Oh, and since Ursy is moving to Cleveland I figure we can be like Ruhlman and Bourdain. I get to be Bourdain since I’m the New Yorker. I guess this means I can continue smoking, drinking, and eating fried food.

And it’s not good bye but good journey.